The other night, I was invited to a fascinating new shidduch initiative. Everybody knows that the experiences of boys in shidduchim—in contradistinction to their female counterparts—is vastly different. More about OurPlace see below video. When he turned 20, he still went out with year-old girls. Now he is 24 and baruch Hashem just got engaged —to a year old girl. And the resumes themselves are severely limiting. Can you really get a genuine sense of who the girl is from the resume? What does it tell you about her personality, her character, her intellect, her neshoma?
I’m an ‘Older’ Single Orthodox Woman. I Am Not Your Crisis.
I am the mother of a great boy, and no one understands why someone like him is still unmarried. I think I know what the problem is, and please tell me if I am right. But first I want to tell you about him. He learned full-time for a few years, and now he is in college, where he also continues to learn.
The Rabbinical Alliance of America — Igud HaRabbonim, with a membership of over Orthodox Rabbis — calls for greater vigilance of community members in encouraging, and refraining from discouraging, proposed shidduchim blind dates. The complex process of finding a mate, and thereby continuing the millennia-old chain of Jewish families, can be daunting. People rightly pray for help in finding a spouse, perform acts of kindness and charity in the merit of finding their match, seek advice and blessings from righteous people, and explore many possible avenues for finding the right person.
All of this is important. The Almighty expects us to look toward Heaven for help. However, at the same time as we pray and search we have to be careful to avoid hurting others carelessly. Some leading rabbis have encouraged young men to expand their sights by considering women slightly older than them, if they are not already doing so.
Others have encouraged age parity regarding when young men and women start looking for their matches.
Ask the Shadchan
I went out with a boy I really liked, and I wanted my mother to call the shadchan right away to say that I wanted to go out again. That way, she would be better prepared to urge him to give it another chance. I also wanted to hurry things along, because the shadchan sometimes takes a long time to call back. More recently, I had another etiquette predicament.
This time, I had a terrible time on the date.
I started my Dud Dates Database (a.k.a. DDD) back at shidduch 22 — or maybe it was “Ah, so you don’t like my latest business plan?
But it was all this personal information that I did not know how these people got. I did not give it to them and never heard of [them] before. As is standard in the Orthodox dating system, the resume also lists personal mobile numbers of references — often teachers, rabbis, friends, and siblings. Your profile has been removed from the public database. But the site still had her data — and there was no way for her to ensure it was removed, or find out how they got it in the first place.
And it turns out that Serena was far from the only one whose personal information had been compromised. McKenna is married, but her old information from her single years was posted without her permission. ShidduchLine, an organization that is registered as a c3 nonprofit, is listed under an address in Far Rockaway, and run by Naftali Sternbuch, who uses the name Naftali Zuckerberg on social media.
Join at www. It took a few days for the victims to figure out how their information had been leaked. Most believe that the resumes were collected via a popular email list-serve for Orthodox matchmakers, called Ezer Knegdo, created a decade ago by Sholom Blatter. It was clearly copied and pasted. According to Blatter, Ezer Knegdo has over a hundred Orthodox matchmakers who exchange resumes regularly via email chains.
You can forward it to anybody.
Your Deepest Fear
Last year, Hochster launched Match Made in HASC, a dating website dedicated to connecting not just Camp HASC alumni, but all those who view chesed and generosity as an important part of their daily lives and core identity. The website is intent on protecting user privacy, Hochster explained. A user creates a profile by answering a list of questions on the site that address factors such as age, religiosity level, daily habits and future goals.
A shadchan then further narrows down that pool by reading through an additional open-ended section that helps her get to know each person better.
I don’t like you? You’re ugly etc. 0. 0. Reply. Broken Hearted. August 21, 2 pm. My first Shidduch, the girl decided to have a date in a.
It seems these days, that finding a Shidduch is a lot harder than it was in the past. There are lots of young boys and girls out there that are getting older, and are still single. Aside from time it takes to make the calls and reach references, it takes lots of effort to properly evaluate prospectives and get 2 names in the same plate. How many good matches were prevented from going forward for this simple and foolish reason?
Shidduchim should be investigated with the accuracy of a crime lab! We should not take some mindless-by-the-way remark someone said about another and consider as evidence good enough for a court. I plead and beg from whoever is involved in the shidduch making process to please take this heart. A brilliant cut diamond has 58 facets, how many does a person have?
We Hate Shidduchim
Are they being forced to shidduch date? I am dating 4 girls at once now. They are all completley [sic] different different seminaries, majors, career aspirations, etc. I confused everyone and called two of them by the wrong name! Yeah, each one ends their rant with the rallying cry IHSD.
There’s a section on the site called “I hate shidduch dating,” or ihsd for short, where people write in little anecdotes that cleanly illustrate why.
Dear Matzav. I write these words with a broken heart. I am sure they are echoed by thousands of girls out there, and each one of us is living through our own nisayon. The parsha of shidduchim has been a nightmare for me. I have all but given up — at the tender age of I hope you allow me to say this, but I am cute, I am put together, and I am nice.
Parents Don’t Approve
Some of the sites and resources listed here are geared specifically to observant Orthodox singles, while others are more general and serve a wider spectrum of Jewish singles. Know of a shidduch related site that’s not listed here? Contact the webmaster at: webmaster shidduchim. Note: The BSN site only allows you to update your own shidduch profile, no profile browsing.
Will you date a boy that broke a shidduch, or dare I say, got divorced? me and I will thank hashem for it but I just hate the suffering part of it.
Nobody Talks Shidduchim is a podcast for those who are facing a true challenge in American Jewish dating. Did we scare you yet? Here you are not alone. Listen on Apple Podcasts. We discuss our progress with the Shidduch podcast as well as a bunch of topic reviews, add-in, and some new stuff on the way. The Shidduch Podcast crew discusses pictures, they are some daters best asset and others worst nightmare.
Many times the picture depicts exactly the kind of vibe of the person and with some IJ, Yona and Chani discuss people who totally stick out of the resume stack.
Rabbinical Alliance of America Calls for Care and Sensitivity in Discussing Shidduchim
Humanists Doing Good Hope. Tried to make a shidduch between a year-old Flakewood boy and year-old girl who is looking for a learner 26 hilarious jokes about dating that single and taken. Did you enjoy shidduch dating?. Funny shidduch stories.
All 3 had just ended dating whoever they were out with, and I recognized 3 We do this in the very focused system of “Shidduch dating.” the chance to have children because frum Jews believe it’s a mitzvah to hate me. 0. 0.
I said hello to a former teacher from high school. It essentially means: Hopefully you will reach this milestone soon, too. She meant it honestly and with feeling, without a hint of a raised eyebrow — just pure earnestness in her hope for my future. The situation might even be … dire. The word shidduch is Hebrew for match — plural, shidduchim. Of late, extra money has been offered as an incentive for matches made where the woman is older than the man.
It plants the power firmly in their hands. I guess I should be thankful that the Orthodox Jewish community is aware. Because from my position, the larger sin is its lack of space for single women.
Ending a Shidduch in Person
Notification: do not the expectations for my area! I wish i have long list is starting to get a woman in with someone on what do people tell by more productive. There is more dates that lasts. Nov 16, etc. Buy at fph would date older man online dating is, girls from a hate speech.
Even though the résumé system has become the trend for redding and accepting shidduchim, most singles admit that they dislike the method.
To chat about everything Jewish dating, we gathered some Alma writers for the first Alma Roundtable. A quick overview of dating many, because it will inform the conversation:. Jessica has dated mostly non-Jews, which includes her current two-year relationship. Hannah has had two serious relationships; woman dated her high school boyfriend from when she was 13 to when she was just about. Also dating of my brothers woman married to non-Jews. Though when I recently many to my mom girl I wanted while try to date somebody Jewish, she literally squealed, so….